THE ORGASM LIST

Sex in a boat – oar-gasms.
Sex with a nerd – dork-gasms.
Sex at the entrance to your house – door-gasms.
Sex on carpet or linoleum – floor-gasms.
Sex at the supermarket – store-gasms.
Sex at a Steven King Movie – horror-gasms.
Sex with a prostitute – whore-gasms.
Sex with an accountant – bore-gasms.
Sex while sleeping – snore-gasms.
Sex with ‘Arthur’ – Dudley Moore-gasms.
Sex with cartoon donkeys – Eyeore-gasms.
Sex while broke – poor-gasms.
Sex with a lion – roar-gasms.
Sex for hours and hours on end – sore-gasms.
Sex on a golf course – fore-gasms.
Sex with a nymphomaniac – more-gasms.
Sex in a gold mine – ore-gasms.
Sex with a dermatologist – pore-gasms.
Sex with a politician – Al Gore-gasms.
Sex with a bullfighter – toreador-gasms.
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword – zorro-gasms.
Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet – smorgasbord-gasms.
Sex on a cruise ship deck – shuffleboard-gasms.
Sex in Asia – Singapore-gasms.
Sex among the wonders of nature – outdoor-gasms.
Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can – odor-gasms.
Sex on the way to the train – ‘All Aboard’-gasms.
Sex that wasn’t very satisfying – ‘There’s the door’-gasms.
Sex in an adult theater – hard-core-gasms.
Sex with someone who’s not paying attention – ignore-gasms.
Sex with a competitive partner – score-gasms.
Sex while flying – soar-gasms.
Sex with a beloved partner – adore-gasms.
Sex with a meat-eater – carnivore-gasms.
Sex with a person who’s got a really bad hairdo – pompadour-gasms.
Sex with someone who’s got bad taste in clothes – velour-gasms.
Sex while traveling – tour-gasms.
Sex with a big dog – Labrador-gasms.
Sex with Beavis and Butthead – ‘GonnaScore’-gasms.
Sex on stairs at the mall – escalator-gasms.
Sex with three of your friends – four-gasms.
Sex with a Norse God – Thor-gasms.
Sex when resistance is futile – Borg-gasms..